pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
