You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
