Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
