Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Houston, we have a squirter
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
