We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
