Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm too high and old for this...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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