My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
