i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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