so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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