Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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