I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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