AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Life is so much better after having sex.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
