Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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