im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she told me i tasted like america
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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