We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
