its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
