i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
