You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I sprained my soul last night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize