And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
