the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
