What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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