i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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