ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize