Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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