dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
