Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize