can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize