its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
