She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
