look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize