My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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