There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
