There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize