Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
