My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize