Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
