Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize