Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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