What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
