Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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