I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
