turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
