I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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