how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
