I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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