and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
