My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
