I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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