brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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