You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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