so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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