The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
