So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
