Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I forget how to act sober
Randomize