Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
