can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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