I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
