i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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