You're completely useless in the revolution.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
