butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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