His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
