i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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