I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
