I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
