I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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