I wannas sexs uuuuu
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
