I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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