I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
