I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
