she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
