I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
